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ginhobeleza

A personal reflection on the last 14 years of my life

George Muniz Gund

April 6th 2023


As I prepare to begin the filming process for my first screenplay many emotions flow through my head

On the surface it’s the typical excitement mixed with just the right amount of anxiety, but deep down it’s so much more to me

If someone were to tell me 14 years ago that I was about to produce and star in a short film just one year after completing a rigorous two and a half year program at one of the most respected schools of the Meisner Technique, I really don’t feel like I would believe them, and reasonably so

This is because of the position I found myself in at the time

I knew that I was different but didn’t yet have a diagnosis, yet I could mask my autistic traits just enough to avoid direct ableism from most people, but that made me exhausted at the end of the day and didn’t shield me from shallow everyday flavors of ableism such as being looked at funny for being quirky, awkward presenting or “not getting the memo” on certain things

It was that shallow ableism that ate away at my soul day after day, month after month, putting me in a semi-permanent cycle of using all my energy (with a lot of support from my parents and tutors as well) to perform in neuronormative biased manners, while my parents and tutors fought tooth and nail so I could at least get the bare minimum when it came to disability accommodations for my executive functioning and sensory processing related disabilities

My whole academic career, to me, was all about pushing as hard as I could, constantly, and not allowing myself as many breaks and as much rest as I should of

Non disabled folks tend to shrug this off as “not a big deal”, or part of the college experience, but for folks with disabilities like myself, we are way more susceptible to getting burned out because our brain literally cannot always keep up with neurotypical brains and this is truly exhausting

This is why eventually, after realizing that I simply was not going to get the proper support I truly needed from the traditional college system, I decided to not conclude my formal university studies

This was a very hard decision for me at the time because I was knew I would face a lot of backlash from people interpreting my decision as laziness or just “doing what I want”

But here’s the thing, laziness is a social construct, and not every human is born with the same level of executive functioning, and we as a society need to acknowledge there is nothing wrong with that

As many neurodistinct people end up doing, I carved my own path

I decided I was going to be an actor but rather than going to a traditional, famous university for a fancy drama degree, I decided to go to a small but very authentic school where I went through a rigorous two year program, studying the Meisner Technique of acting, with nonetheless but Sanford Meisner’s last teaching protégé

The training was definitely not easy and there were certainly times where I wondered how far I would make it through, but in the end I did and when that happened it was such a wonderful feeling, one that I still cherish to this day

Almost immediately after graduation, I dove deep in to the world of autism acceptance and anti-ableism advocacy, engaging with a vast community of people that share very similar experiences

I have experienced quite a bit of (humble) “success”, with thousands of folks downloading episodes of my podcast “Unpacking Neuroqueerness” all over the world (in every continent), as I approach the mark of 100 episodes in the book

The feeling of helping other Neurodistinct folks better accept, understand and advocate for themselves, while also using my platform to educate neurotypicals on Neurodiversity is truly priceless!

It’s a victory not just for myself today, but for my 15 year old self as well

The shy, misunderstood, neglected kid masking his hardest just to make it through

Well, it took a while, through many twists and turns, but it paid off!

I also consider this a victory against the neuronormative ableist, classist and capitalist  expectations that society places on individuals to pursue traditional academic and career related pathways and considering those who don’t to be of less value

I doubt that many people that will tout having fancy diplomas from fancy schools and look down on people who don’t, would be able to achieve some of the things I have

While it is true that I would have had a much tougher time if I didn’t have access to all the resources I did while growing up, but even so I was always constantly underestimated, and I still made stuff happen, and no one can take that away from me!

I know I will continue to face ableism and prejudice from certain folks in the future, but you know what? Deep down, that doesn’t really matter, because I have built an enormous support system of friends and family around me and at this point that barrier is too strong to break

I want this to also be a reminder that people shouldn’t make assumptions about what a person can or can’t do based on their disabilities, “level” of education, or ability to trudge through life in a neurotypical way, hiding all the exhaustion that takes place behind the scenes

We need to look at people from the inside and allow them to feel safe to fully unmask with us, because when they do, you will see their true, full, authentic essence, and that is nothing short of a beautiful thing!

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